Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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