i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
