I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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