"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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