I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
this hospital has no fireball
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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