I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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