Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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