so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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