Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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