When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
