I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
