I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
