Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
