i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
