she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
We got so high we made milksteak
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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