hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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