I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
