dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
