I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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