I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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