Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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