does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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