How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
