sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
