dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize