need another drink. this is the easiest way
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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