was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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