I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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