Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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