At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
