today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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