I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize