My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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