Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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