please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
