She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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