So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
