When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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