So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
