I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Randomize
