I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
