it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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