He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Will exercising make me less horny?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
