that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
