Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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