NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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