dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
