If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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