come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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