Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
