It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
