I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just had sex on a roof
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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