I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
