i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
