i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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