Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
