exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
