Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
