i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
