Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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