he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
