i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
