I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
