I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
