There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
