I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize